Dog trains man

Saturday, August 2, 2014

About Blue Flag Emergencies and Feeling Naked Around Nudists

Right after hitting the beach, we went down to the water's edge. The weather was so hot, Kenzo and Tilde needed to be cooled down, as soon as possible. I noticed a lot of people still took their dogs down to the beach, even though a week earlier the news came out, all dogs should be banned from Blue Flag beaches.

The Blue Flag indicates the beach and water is clean enough for tourists to enjoy, but some bureaucrat somewhere dug up a WHO report, that dogs foul the beaches, and they weren't allowed on Blue Flag beaches anymore. Just like that.

I could see at least, I wasn't the only one, with no intention what-so-ever to follow this new rule. Get rid of the flag, in my humble opinion, is a much better solution.

A woman with her dog walking along the water's edge approached us and she quickly leashed her dog, when she noticed Kenzo and Tilde were leashed as well. I don't let them off leash, when the beach is that busy, after all, a lot of people don't like dogs. I would first let them off leash, as soon as we arrived at a much queiter part of the beach, which is where the nudists are.

If the beach is quieter because of the nudists, or if it is the other way around, I don't know. Most likely the nudists do seem to try, like me with my dogs, to seek some seclusion not to offend other people. But we were still in the busy part of the beach and we had to walk further. And then, the inevitable happened.

The approaching dog took a huge dump in the water's edge and the lady immediately became very uncomfortable. People's stares were not to be mistaken of, and I noticed an elbow or two, that raised multiple sunbathers into an upright position.

We passed by, but I was too curious not to look over my shoulder, to see if the lady would pick up her dog's delivery, after all we don't want any Blue Flag emergencies that would spoil the fun for all of us. I wondered, why she was not picking it up though.

The lady started waving. To someone, obviously, that was in the possession of a doggy bag. Picking it up later, would have been an option, but with so many eyes on her, I am sure she didn't dare to move, fearing a Blue Flag lynch mob.

When nobody was coming to the rescue, and the deposit started to take the first hits from the surf, in danger of becoming afloat, I decided to come to the rescue. I think I never met somebody before, that was so thrilled to see a doggy bag, at the end of my outstretched arm.

While we continued our walk down to the quieter part, and laughed a little about what happened, I could see the first nudists appear. We had to be close now, to some off leash fun. I said to my wife, "I feel naked". She didn't understand, as I never before seem to have been bothered to be surrounded by nudists, even I keep my clothes on my body myself.

When I was growing up, a long time ago in Holland, dogs were only allowed off leash in the summer on the nudist beach. I had gotten used to the arrangement. Although a young Kenzo embarrassed me once, during one of our visits, he mistakenly took a running man for an invitation to play chase, who quickly started protecting his private parts, just in case. He swore, it was all intentional from our side.

But this time I did feel naked and it didn't had anything to do with my clothing. Kenzo and Tilde did their business earlier on the parking lot in front of the beach. I always leave the house with three bags, and I realized my earlier heroism left me with no more bags. What if...? But not to worry, why would Kenzo or Tilde go twice on the same trip? That never happened before.

Of course, this time, it did. And although Tilde made a beautiful poo, my happiness was short-lived, as now it was my turn to be studied, by the nudists this time. I looked around, like the lady did earlier, with some hope of karma coming to the rescue, but none of the sunbathers moved. "Don't stare", my wife said, misunderstanding my looks for help. I couldn't spot any nude people with a dog. Typical.

I dug a deep hole for Tilde's deposit, and left in shame.



  1. Oh no! They always seem to out poop the number of bags you have. I've gotten where I don't go anywhere new without at least a brand new roll of them. It just seems inevitable.

    Monty and Harlow

  2. Couldn't help laughing. If you'd had a fist full of poop bags... there'd be no poop to pick up ;-)


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